Part 25 in a series on the Dye Family Adventure by Marguerite Jill Dye
Motherhood, the next frontier
We were awe-struck when our son was born. Duane cut the cord and bathed Danny in warm water. I held him on my chest as we fell in love with the sweet little fellow, all rosy red in a funny skullcap, with ten tiny fingers, toes, and searching eyes.
I would have liked to be in Vermont, cozily cuddled up in a quilt by the fire with my husband, Duane and our newborn. Looking out the vast great room windows, we’d be dazzled by the falling snow flakes, glistening treetops, and our beautiful son. As I dozed off, I’d fly down the trails, over the moguls, then back down again. But once awakened by cry or coo, I found myself in a motherhood daze in Henrico Doctor’s Hospital in Richmond, Virginia, and soon in our home, a Craftsman bungalow.
I wanted to do everything right to give our son Daniel the best start in life. But as a perfectionist, I went completely overboard. I nursed my baby on demand, day and night to the point of exhaustion. When I returned to work at the Commonwealth Girl Scout Council, I was so frazzled, I couldn’t cope, often bursting into tears for no reason at all. After several months trying to juggle everything, (feedings, pumping, lack of sleep, day care, and my challenging work schedule), I had no alternative but to quit.
I wan’t expecting the feelings of isolation and loneliness that overtook me. I joined a young mother’s group at our library helping link women with resources and new friends.
In spite of connection, my exhaustion continued and our marriage wasn’t going well. We each had a counselor in our corner who finally asked, “Why are you still together? Try to remember why you first fell in love.”
I looked at Duane with tears in my eyes and said, “His big heart, compassion for people’s problems, brilliance, and intelligence attracted me.”
“Jill’s sensitivity, kindness and smile are what I remember most,” Duane added.
Along with our counselors, a book was a big help: “How to Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems.” Our therapists told Duane to give Danny a bottle at his 4am feeding. Five days later, the problem was solved. I could sleep peacefully through the night. Soon, our marriage was back on track.
We celebrated with a getaway to Vermont, our beloved retreat. My lovely niece, Laura (a triplet!) joined us. On our way north that rainy night, we hit an invisible exit barrier (that only felt like a bump) near the Delaware Memorial Bridge. Our car stopped suddenly. It was totaled. We slept in a nearby hotel and rented a car the following morning.
In spite of its start, our time in Vermont was peaceful, relaxing and lots of fun. Gammy and Papa were in their elements, talking, feeding, reading, and playing with their precious seventh grandson. Friends came over to admire our little Maggi. Danny explored the great room on all fours and enjoyed the great outdoors on our backs hiking Pico and Killington.
And so began our multi-generational life in our Killington Dream Lodge. I invite you to join me as the adventure continues in the online edition of “The Mountain Times.”
Marguerite Jill Dye is an artist and writer who divides her time between Killington and Bradenton, Florida. She loves to hear from her readers at jilldyestudio@aol.com.