By Marguerite Jill Dye
Why are you here, I beg of my pain. What brought you on? Why have you invaded my life? “What must I do to loosen your grip? Can’t you stop this living hell?
Pain has hijacked my life, my concentration and focus. If I try to think of anything else, it forces me back to experience it, to the exclusion of any other sensation.
Louise Hay wrote that pain is an indicator of one’s emotional state and thoughts. Brian Resnick wrote in vox.com that millions of cases of chronic pain “have no diagnosed physical cause” and that “the psychological component is often dismissed or never acknowledged.”
My last two columns were about healing; this explores the coin’s other side. Our trip to Cuba was canceled due to sudden onset pain and disability.
Fortunately, I’ve found a few pain interrupters through doctors, friends, and my own intuition: my electro stimulator TENS Unit which distracts the sensation of pain and helps stimulate healing with shocks to the injured, painful region; tapping my body’s meridian points while sending healing messages to my subconscious; CBD oil, 3,000 strength, six drops twice a day to diminish pain; drinking cups of grated turmeric root tea (with honey, cinnamon, cloves, and a touch of milk); deep breaths, inhaling through the nose, filling abdomen and chest, hold, then exhale through the mouth; ice for 15-20 minutes several times a day; excellent pharmaceutical grade supplements; resting on my stomach (my only good position); and medications.
My neighbor came over to write up my complicated medication schedule. She made a list I can check off with correct timing for pills, meals, and pain gel. I can’t imagine how people manage to keep track of their medications. It’s complicated — especially in pain, when lacking the ability to think straight. (It’s a wonder I’m writing this column!)
The good news is I know I’ll get better. I’ve experienced this before, when a badly-injected epidural for the pain from a herniated disc (L4-5) caused a hematoma that led to nerve clumping and chronic arachnoiditis (an inflammation of the spine’s middle sheath). My herniated disc L5-S1 is pinching the nerve, sending pain to my left hip, calf, and ankle. In the middle of the night, it wakes me up and it’s my wakeup call for something(s) I’ve suppressed.
“Excavate, understand, and resolve it!” my pain is commanding me.
Both healers who helped alleviate my pain 10 years ago have returned with their healing hands and many therapeutic modalities. Yet Robin said, “Your pain’s from many little irritations you’ve suppressed over weeks, months, or years. What unprocessed feelings, incidents, and relationships may have built up and led to this?”
I’m trying to identify the psychological and spiritual sources of my pain. I won’t accept it as “the way it is!”
“I look at pain in a different way,” Rev. Lisa, my beautiful, 82 years young spiritual counselor, said. “Physical bodies are only matter. Could the physical body be breaking down? The body uses energy and thought. Visualize health. Then allow your God-given healing energy to take over and do the rest.”
I must see myself as already healed but also feel the need to know why this pain manifested. It’s challenging to visualize optimal health while questioning the meaning of this pain.
My healer, Joann, says many times health problems stem from not loving and respecting ourselves. “If we focus on others’ needs and don’t honor our own, we deny our value and importance,” Joann said. “A healer must love and help herself in order to love and help others.”
We are all children of God, made in His/Her own image. We have an inner font of knowing that is accessible, 24/7. We’re connected to and are one with our divine energy source. It will never abandon us. I am. You are. We are one with God.
So I lie on my stomach and tap-tap-tap to acknowledge suppressed feelings, set my intention, calm myself, and be grateful for my healing (see tappingsolution.com).
Realizations break through the fog, just as in meditation, leading me to my healing place and returning my life to extraordinary.
I can see it. I can feel it. And soon my body will manifest the healing thoughts I’m sending it.
Blessings be in your own healing. May you be free from pain. Miracles happen when we’re open to them, so open the door and let one in!
Marguerite Jill Dye is an artist and writer who divides her time between Vermont and Florida.