An adult friendship between a teacher and a former student probably doesn’t happen very often. I have been both the “student” and the “teacher” in such a friendship. It’s an interesting relationship that develops over time.
During my high school days at Mt. St. Joseph Academy, I was a student in classes taught by Sister Elizabeth Marie. She was a very soft-spoken woman who was sincerely interested in her students. A nun’s family background and former personal life are always very private. Unless a nun was from the Rutland area, you never really knew much about them. You didn’t know their actual names or where they were from.
When it came time to think about college, my thoughts went to Trinity College in Burlington. It was only a couple of hours from home but far enough away to feel independent.
The subject of college choices came up one day in a class taught by Sister Elizabeth Marie. When she heard that I was considering Trinity, she asked if she could speak to me about that college at the end of the school day. I was interested in what she wanted to tell me.
It turned out that she had gone to Trinity College prior to becoming a nun. She had nothing but praise for the educational opportunities offered there. She said the school was small enough that the faculty knew their students individually and nurtured them to succeed. She also mentioned that she had a sister who was a math professor at Trinity. Her sister was not a nun and was known as Professor Grace Morrissey. Sister Elizabeth Marie took me “under her wing” and played a huge role in my choice of that college.
Fast forward to 1962, when I entered Trinity College, Grace Morrissey introduced herself to me. She was equally as pleasant as Sister Elizabeth Marie. I was never one of her students, but she helped me with calculus, which was a course I found difficult.
Several years after I graduated from Trinity, I met Sister Elizabeth Marie at a function, and we had a nice visit. I asked her if she would like to go out to lunch someday as my guest, and we could catch up. It was summertime, and I took her to Lake Bomoseen, where she enjoyed seeing the lake and having a nice lunch.
It was the start of a friendship that lasted until her death in 2013. She would invite me to the convent to visit her, and at other times, she came to our house.
She was a wise woman who gave wonderful advice in the most subtle of ways!
About the time Sister Elizabeth Marie left my life, a former student of mine from Wallingford High School entered my life. Betty and I offered online encouragement to a mutual acquaintance through a Caring Bridge website. We recognized each other’s names when we read the public comments. We had not seen each other for over 40 years. After exchanging some emails, we made plans to meet for lunch during one of her visits to Vermont.
I learned that Betty is interested in writing, just as I am. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing about the adventures in her life during the past 40 years. I had the pleasure of reviewing a family history book that she was writing. It was well written and is a wonderful source of knowledge for future generations in her family. We have become good friends and have established a tradition of meeting for lunch or coffee during her annual trips to Vermont to visit family. Of course, exchanging emails on a regular basis keeps us up to date throughout the year.
When you are only a few years older than your students, it is hard to think of them as “friends” until enough time has passed to transition them into the world of adults. Whether that period was only about ten years with Sister Elizabeth Marie and me or forty years with Betty and me, it created a special friendship. I am grateful for both experiences.
