If there’s one thing I’ve been lucky with in my life, it’s sleep. Other than my spat with cancer several years ago, I’ve navigated my night times with relative ease. I hear countless stories from people who suffer from insomnia or nocturnal restlessness, and I always feel thankful that I’ve avoided that life pitfall.
I’ve often bragged that I can fall asleep anytime, anywhere, in less than two minutes. Just the other day, I dropped my wife off at the grocery store so she could grab some provisions. As soon as she got out of my truck and shut the door, I kicked my seat back and tipped my cap down over my eyes. I’m confident I was asleep before she dropped the first item into her cart.
On the rare occasion that I do wake up in the middle of the night and find that I can’t fall back asleep, I’ll usually head to the kitchen for a snack. And while I have a certified sweet tooth, at that hour, I almost always crave salty content. It was during one of these uncommon nighttime feasts that I had an epic revelation, a revelation so profound that I’ve never forgotten it.
I awoke one night in my late teens and headed to the fridge to find a snack. I searched for a moment before pulling out a jar of dill pickles. As I stood there chomping on the pickle, I turned the container over and read the label.
My eyes jumped around for a moment before landing on the section containing the ingredients. My chewing slowed when I read the first word: cucumbers. My eyes widened and then jumped back and forth from the half-eaten pickle in my hand to the word “cucumber.”
I was awestruck. It had never occurred to me that pickles were simply small cucumbers soaked in vinegar and salt. I’m not sure what I thought pickles were or where they came from, but cucumbers weren’t part of my previous understanding.
I have never forgotten that night or my profound pickle revelation. Since then, no matter how smart I think I am, I have reminded myself that there is likely something else in this world that I’ve gotten wrong.
Well, I can honestly say it’s been quite a while since I’ve had one of these revelations, but this past weekend, I had another, proving again that you’re never too old to learn something new.
I grabbed my son on Saturday morning and told him I had to run an errand requiring his help. The truth was, I didn’t need any help; I simply wanted to spend some dedicated time with him. We hopped in my truck and took off with him inquiring about what errand was so important that he had to get out of bed on a Saturday morning.
When we got to our destination, he saw the banner for the local farmers’ market. He then understood what the trip was about and graciously settled into taking a short walk with his dad, knowing that a healthy treat was likely in his future.
While he was ordering a breakfast sandwich, I wandered about the area, looking at the available produce, before finally stopping at a booth dedicated to sprouts. Interestingly, I had just inquired about buying sprouts a few months earlier but was told that most major chains had now shied away from carrying them since they have a short shelf life and are prone to food safety risks like E. coli.
As I was gazing at the farmer’s display, which featured items like “Alfalfa Sprouts,” “Mung Bean Sprouts” and Broccoli Sprouts,” it suddenly occurred to me that sprouts were not a separate vegetable (as I had previously thought) but rather the early growth stage of plants harvested just after germination begins.
My mind was blown. A sprout wasn’t a distinct food category; it was a step in plant growth – like when a plant sprouts from its seed.
Idiot!
I walked away, chuckling, reminiscing about my prior pickle experience, and intent on reminding myself that I’m not nearly as smart as I think I am.
This week’s feature, “You’re Cordially Invited,” starring Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon, did little to increase my intelligence. This movie most certainly made me dumber.
“You’re Cordially Invited” is a 2025 American comedy film written and directed by Nicholas Stoller. The plot centers on two weddings that are accidentally double-booked at the same venue on a small, remote island, leading to a chaotic clash between the two wedding parties.
This should have been a great comedy, especially considering its two main stars. But the days of taking chances in Hollywood are over (hopefully not), which left this film listless and overblown with half-hearted bits.
Check this one out only if you’ve expired every other film on your list. It will certainly burn an hour and a half of your time, but you won’t get much enjoyment out of it.
A regretful “C-” for “You’re Cordially Invited,” now available to stream on Amazon Prime.
Got a question or comment for Dom? You can email him at [email protected].
