Many years ago, when my son was a budding teenager, I got into a heated debate with him after coming home from baseball practice. The details are foggy, but my recollection is that I was disappointed with his effort that day, so I lectured him about the benefits of focus and hard work.
I’ll admit that I’ve always taken advantage of any opportunity to corner my son’s full attention. And in a world of constant distractions, the one space I can always count on to nurture this is inside the cab of my truck. That is my domain, and my son knows it, so if I decide it’s time to discuss something in that space, he has to comply.
At some point during this discussion, he must have reacted flippantly because I remember popping off in a fairly direct and heated manner. And when his attitude didn’t change, I went full angry-dad, lecture-mode.
When I tell my coworkers that I can get heated and even lose my temper, they always find it difficult to imagine. I’m pretty laid back in most situations, and the people I work with generally regard me as easy-going and relaxed. But at home or when I’m alone, I can get agitated under the right circumstances. And one of those circumstances is apparently when my son approaches activities with a half-ass demeanor.
Looking back, I remember thinking that he was particularly abstinent with me, almost as if he was purposefully agitating me, which is something he never does. One thing about my son is that when he sees me get serious, he generally sits up and pays attention respectfully.
Needless to say, it took me some time to calm down. And when I did, I made sure to circle back to calmly make my point, tell him I love him, and ensure he understood what transpired.
Fast-forward a couple of weeks, and for whatever reason, I looked at my son’s phone. I can honestly say that, over the years, I’ve never discovered any behavior out of the norm or different from anything I did. He’s had his “things” with the girls and the occasional dabbling with partying, but nothing that ever got me worried.
I used to check his Snapchat account and iMessage interactions to ensure he wasn’t heading in any dangerous direction. Inevitably, it was the group chats where I’d discover the most honest information. My son has always had a close-knit group of friends with whom he traversed adolescence into adulthood. They love to tease, brag, and command authority over one another, but ultimately, they have always remained tight.
While perusing his texts, I came across one thread where my son posted something like, “You think your dad is tough. Check this out…” My curiosity perked up as I pressed the play button to what looked like a blurry video. The content of the video resembled a phone that was pressed against someone’s clothing, with very little light being allowed in to discern what was being recorded. However, the audio was bright and clear.
I listened intently and quickly realized that the voice I was hearing was my own. Within a short time, I came to the shocking realization that my son had recorded me yelling at him from that day in the truck and then passed it around to his friends.
To say I was mortified would be an understatement. I went from shock to sadness to immense anger in less than a minute. Once I composed myself, I had to figure out how I would handle the obvious betrayal. The approach I settled on was to walk into his room, sit on the side of his bed, calmly rouse him from his sleep, and then nonchalantly play the video.
I’ve never seen my son go from completely unconscious to penetrating focus in such a short time. I may have actually seen his soul leave his body when he realized my discovery. In fact, he was so visibly shaken that I couldn’t help but go soft on him. I did, however, make it a point to say how disappointed I was and how I thought he could be a better person, especially to his father.
This week’s film also features someone looking to be a better version of themselves, but in this case, it involves a black market drug and the possibility of self-destruction.
Demi Moore portrays a Hollywood starlet who has been cast aside because of her age. In an effort to regain her fame and youthful looks, she agrees to take a secretive drug and, in doing so, alters her life in unfathomable ways.
If you like different and indulgent, definitely give this one a try. It’s got a wild and unpredictable storyline that will either repulse you or have you begging for more. There’s Oscar buzz surrounding Demi on this one, which would certainly be a feel-good win for most moviegoers.
A youthful “B-” for “The Substance,” now available to rent on Amazon Prime Video.
Got a question or comment for Dom? You can email him at [email protected].
