The more things change
I’d like to say that I don’t mind change (simply because it’s the one constant in life, so there’s no sense fighting it), but the reality is that I’m not a big fan. I’ve constructed my life so that I’m very comfortable with how things unfold on a day-to-day basis. Therefore, any deviation from my intended game plan generally makes me uncomfortable.
For instance, I love going on vacation, but I need a certain amount of time to adjust to the proposition. When my wife suggests a trip to the Caribbean, my first reaction is not, “That sounds awesome, let’s go!” It’s, “How many things do I have to get in order to pull this off effectively?” (The ironic part is that once I’m on vacation and get into a rhythm, I find it very hard to return to my regular life.)
I have a friend who will drop everything at a moment’s notice and fly to Vegas or Mexico for the weekend. I get anxious when he tells me about these excursions. By Tuesday of an average week, I usually have 15 things on my to-do list to accomplish over the upcoming weekend. I’d have to look ahead at least three or four weeks before I’d have a legitimate shot at clearing my schedule enough for that kind of disruption.
Maybe it’s my age, but I enjoy my routines, mostly because I’m also an efficiency nut. For every routine event I undertake, I have likely spent years breaking it down to its core constituents to run the process as smoothly and efficiently as possible.
Every time I take a shower, I follow the same pattern from beginning to end without deviation. First, I wash my hair, then I wash my body, then I floss, then I brush my teeth, then I shave, and then, finally, I wash my face. I’ve been approaching showers this way for decades without any divergence. The only thing that would get me to change is the realization that there is a more efficient method I didn’t realize prior.
One of the reasons I do this is that once I get the process down, there’s no need for conscious thought. I get into the shower, and everything just happens. Mentally, I can be a world away in thought or reflection, and the next thing I know, my shower is complete.
I suppose work is the one area where I don’t mind things getting thrown into flux. I’ve become accustomed to late-minute meetings that require me to rearrange my schedule. I think the fact that all these scenarios fall under “work time” is what makes it more manageable. In my mind, I’ve given up that portion of my day to my career so those hours can be used as needed.
There are also moments when life throws you an epic curveball, those scenarios where the universe just completely laughs at your plans. I went through that experience on the day I was diagnosed with cancer. In one conversation with my doctor, I went from totally healthy to hearing the words, “Without immediate intervention, you will be dead in a year.”
Talk about upending your plans!
I was on my way to Florida to begin chemotherapy and radiation treatments only a few weeks after that first conversation. My job stopped, my coaching stopped, my routines stopped, my relationships stopped. In a nutshell, my entire life stopped, and it didn’t get back to normal for over a year.
I remember thinking how unfair the whole thing was. I had things to do, work to finish, fun to have, and a son to raise. I didn’t need cancer to walk in and upend everything! But it did, and as much as I didn’t like it, I had to deal with it.
But I realized something important over that year: Sometimes, you need to be thrown out of your comfort zone so you can grow in ways you never dreamed possible. We may not understand why these things happen or how they may help us, but if you’re patient, the realization will unveil itself at some point in the future.
In this week’s feature, “The Lost Children,” we’re introduced to a story of change so unbelievable that it’s hard to believe it actually happened.
“The Lost Children” is a documentary about four Indigenous children who survive a horrific plane crash in the Columbian Amazon that kills all the adults aboard. What follows is the unlikely partnership of local communities and a distrustful military who band together for the common good. Add in the exotic forces of nature, and you’ve got an incredibly compelling film.
Check this one out if you need a reminder that humanity is still good at its core. This documentary is a remarkable story with a special message and a heartwarming ending.
A bewildering “B+” for “The Lost Children,” now available to stream on Netflix.
Got a question or comment for Dom? You can email him at [email protected].
