By Dom Cioffi
Once the presents were opened, the wrapping paper was discarded, the food was served, the dishes were cleaned, the relatives had exited, and the decorations were taken down, my wife and I sat in our living room and discussed the holiday. We both agreed that it was an exceptional year, but also exhausting.
In between Christmas and New Year’s, we tried our best to relax. I read the several books I received as gifts; she puttered in the kitchen trying out her new gadgets.
During the day on New Year’s Eve, my wife announced that she was hungry and asked if I had any ideas. I jokingly said, “Let’s go get some fast food.” To my surprise, she complied. Before we knew it, we were headed out, me in my sweats and she in her pajamas.
We convinced ourselves that this was going to feel like high school — we’d order our food and then sit in the parking lot and eat in the car.
I never eat fast food and neither does my wife. This is because we both have an aversion to highly processed cuisine. It’s not that we don’t like the taste (it’s hard not to). It’s more about how the food makes us feel.
This stance on fast food developed over years of falling prey to its allure and then experiencing regret afterward.
First of all, I hate the smell. Nothing assaults my senses more than getting into my vehicle after I transported fast food and revisiting that greasy, pungent stink.
Secondly, it might be because of old age, but my stomach simply can’t handle highly processed foods anymore. I get a bloated response that feels like a bowling ball in my gut. It tastes good going down, but within minutes after I’m finished, I become hyper-aware of my stomach.
And finally, the fastest way to clog your arteries and put on weight is with highly processed fast food. Why on earth would anyone indulge when that’s the result? (OK, so it’s probably the ease, the cost, and the taste and therein lies the problem with obesity in the U.S.)
Regardless, that day, we pulled in and ordered our food and then drove around the building facing the street so we could watch the people while eating.
While we were eating, a young man pushing a small cart walked in front of my truck. He was clean-cut and good looking but had an odd outfit on. He stopped directly in front of my hood and started pulling balloons out of his cart. Within a few seconds he was hard at work making a balloon character.
We watched intently while chewing our food, wondering if he knew that we in such close proximity. We then got the idea that he might be making the balloon character for us.
Eventually, he finished what appeared to be a penguin and then pushed his cart into the fast food restaurant, obviously hired for some type of children’s party.
It only took seconds after we finished eating for my wife to exclaim that she felt sick. I was fine, initially, but I could feel the bowling ball beginning to form.
Once we got home, we both vowed not to eat for the rest of the day. That lasted until 9 p.m. ,when my son arrived with four of his friends asking if they could hang out in our TV room above the garage and order pizzas. I told him I would pay for the pies, but our favorite pizza joint had just closed.
The boys insisted on a pizza chain as a replacement, so I acquiesced and ordered four pizzas. They arrived in a half hour and the boys devoured them, but not before my wife and I each had a slice.
Sick does not begin to describe how my wife and I felt for the rest of the night and all of Jan. 1 (this is not how we planned to ring in the New Year). Needless to say, we both resolved to not eat fast food again for the rest of the year.
This week’s feature, “Killers of the Flower Moon” starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert De Niro, and written and directed by Martin Scorsese, tells the story of an Indian reservation in the early 1920s (long before fast food was invented) where the discovery of oil made the inhabitants wealthy beyond their dreams. But with great wealth comes bad people looking to exploit.
Just seeing the names of the director and main characters is enough to recommend this film. As expected, the acting is top-notch, and the direction is amazing. The story is a bit tough to follow and requires careful attention, but overall, it’s a winner on multiple levels.
Check this one out if you’re in the mood to see one of the best pictures of 2023 and a shoo-in for an Oscar nomination for best picture.
An oily “A-” for “Killers of the Flower Moon,” now available for rental on Amazon Prime.
Got a question or comment for Dom? You can email him at moviediary@att.net.
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