By Sandra Dee Owens
You get good at what you practice
A few years ago, I took a solo trip while my book was at the printer. The trip was purposeful with a specific agenda; I was putting into practice what I shared in the book.
As a happy, busy, grandmother, I had not traveled solo for some time. An avid traveler, the stretch of homebodiness combined with middle age allowed the fear gremlin to settle in.
I wanted to shift my relationship with the fear gremlin regarding solo travel before it turned to mental concrete. It was not true, yet I was getting good at telling myself it was. It was poppycock!
When fear or any other gremlin (Should, Can’t, Later, Expectation, etc.), has the upper hand in any area of my life, I feel stuck. When I am stuck, I am spinning my wheels. This feels bad.
I prefer to be in “forward” mode. In this mode, I feel free. This feels good.
Funology
Visual aids work well for me. In my mind’s eye, I visualize a dial with two settings; : “Stuck” and “Forward.” When I recognize I am stuck, I close my eyes, breathe deeply, then reach out my hand and flip the switch from ‘stuck’ to ‘forward.’ I am giving notice (to myself and the gremlins) that my intention is set. It is the first move in setting myself free. It is a process. I do not lay expectations on myself that I will instantly resolve the issue. I am attentive to the process because that is where the fun is. And I take fun seriously.
Years ago I began shifting my relationship with the gremlins. Instead of viewing them as enemies to conquer, I sought a fun, effective and sustainable route to managing negativity. In my mind’s eye, I turned each gremlin into an animated being and imagined a lifelong relationship with them. Then I shifted my relationship with them from contentious to friendly.
In my mind’s eye, I imagined fear as an animated human and invited her in for tea at a round kitchen table. I laid my hand on top of hers, thanked her for saving my life over the years, and told her I was capable of driving my own ship now. She smiled, said nothing, and looked relieved. I plucked her up and gently placed her in the backseat of an imaginary car, where I could see her in the rearview mirror. I assured her that I knew where to find her if I needed her. With the peaceful exchange of power in place, I feel my confidence surge and prepared to move forward.
My solo trip scared me. So I practiced closing my eyes, breathing deeply, and shifting my relationship with fear.
I was going on a trip and in my suitcase I packed …
During the summer, my long-time mini iPad died and I bought my first cell phone. I set the voiceover for the GPS to a British accent and bought a plane ticket. Over the next few weeks, hearing this accent added to my travel excitement as I had bicycled and hitch-hiked (solo) in the British Isles as a teenager. I had skirted the southern border of Scotland and wanted to experience more of it.
Excitement was expanding, as fear diminished.
Two days before leaving, a mock-up of my book arrived for review. “Fear” is the second book in the series. My first, “Should” was the first of “the gremlins” series. They are both small; quick and easy reads. I gave the printer the thumbs up and packed the mock-up to read out loud (on social media) at some cool location in Scotland.
Shift your mind
The overarching trip agenda was to be a noticer. I told myself that every time I heard the fear gremlin tell me I could not do something—I would stop, and if it was safe to do so—do it.
No hesitation. Just do it.
I also set a fun goal of swimming in EVERY Loch, Sea Loch, alpine pond, or the ocean, whenever I encountered them. I knew they would be chilly, which is seriously fun and holistically healing for me.
This was my kind of adventure!
For more information visit:
sandradeeowens.com.
