I have a simple mind. Full of everything I need to be well. All I have to do is use it.
Whenever my younger sister Marcelle wants to spur me to action, all she has to say is; “Well, I know you can’t do it, but. . . ” and with childlike enthusiasm, I spring to my feet. “You’re so easy,” she giggles, knowing this simple statement is all she needs to fling me into action. It’s not fair! Foot stomp. Sometimes I wish I were more complicated.
The stream of wellbeing
Marcelle and I encourage personal growth and wellness in ourselves and each other. When one of us is struggling with the gremlins (what I call those invisible creatures of negativity, i.e. anger, resentment, fear, “should,” depression, expectation, etc.) the other one holds space in the stream of well-being for her.
We have developed a simple meditation exercise that helps us return to a healthy, positive, mindset quickly. This practice requires being honest with ourselves. And the results are consistently awesome.
Mental and emotional wellbeing is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and share with others. Because if you free the mind, you also free the body.
To get in the stream of wellbeing, we imagine ourselves walking across lush, green, summer grass to a gentle, flowing stream. The air is sweet and warm. Dressed in loose, comfortable clothes, we step barefoot into the stream and lie on our backs.
Since this is all taking place in our minds, we imagine the stream as a magical one that allows us to lie outstretched in the current, and stay there without effort. The water is sweet, clean, and refreshing.
We ask ourselves, “What am I feeling?”and one by one we name our gremlins out loud. Then we imagine each one being washed through us and downstream. It is a mental and emotional cleansing. Once our minds and bodies are free of that negative energy, we have more room. Room for allowing.
Since negative emotions are often connected to other humans, we enter a state of allowing. We imagine allowing everyone to be exactly who they are and more importantly—who they are not. The expectation gremlin can really weigh you down.
The awesome possum beauty of this meditation-exercise is that it doesn’t involve anyone else. We let go of waiting for someone to change or do something we want them to do. And refocus our attention on minding our own business.
Contrast
If one of us is in the stream of wellbeing and the other is not, we send a loving message, “I am holding space for you in the stream.” It is highly motivating to get back in the stream. It stinks being out. We want back in. Since we practice this exercise often we possess the body and mind knowledge to get ourselves back in. Mental health is a solo journey—with friends.
It is shocking how quickly you can get booted out of the steam of well-being. You can be humming along, minding your own business, and suddenly, a slight, a word, an annoying email, and bam—you’re out. The gremlins never completely go away. They play an important role in our lives. They help us get along with others.
The gremlins keep us mentally and emotionally fit. Just as our physical health requires daily exercise, so too does our mind. We require mental and emotional fitness as much as physical fitness. Free the body, free the mind.
Marcelle and I are fascinated by how easy everything is when we are in the stream of wellbeing. Everything is in a state of ease. The small, normally petty annoyances of day-to-day interactions with fellow humans do not cling to us. We don’t get jammed up in a pig pile of yuck. Negativity flows through versus clinging to us.
It’s like being high—without taking drugs. Or drinking alcohol. There is a much higher level of feel-good than achieved with outside substances. It costs nothing. We already possess the inner tools to create this well-being. There is no hangover, nobody-ravaging illnesses. It’s nothing but happiness.
Self-care is family care
Recently, I struggled to stay “in the stream of well-being” with regularity, and Marcelle tossed a challenge to me.
“I know you can’t do it, but . . . imagine the great things that could happen if you stayed in the stream of well-being for a whole week.” I sizzled with competitive electricity. “Oh yeah, just watch me.”
The next week, I sent my cell phone out the door with my husband on his way to work each morning. I call it a phone-down-day. As soon as his car backs down the driveway with my cell phone on board, I feel relief. I have every hour of the day to be present and focus on things I want to do. I am free of the scrolling gremlin.
During this week-long challenge, I put on a YouTube guided meditation very low in the background. I continued to work while allowing my subconscious mind to absorb the meditation. It was like going away on a retreat—without going anywhere. An in-house retreat.
The number of things I got done was astounding. I started with doing one thing, then did the next thing. If things started to feel rushed or overwhelming, I imagined myself as a horse with blinders on. Just do the next thing.
It was a slow, steady march forward. Incredibly productive and because I was not spending the day leaning over the kitchen counter, scrolling on my phone, I found it easier to stay in the stream of well-being. I was busy living my own life. Rather than everyone else’s.
While I did not stay in the stream every second of every day, I found it easier to get back in when I got booted out.
I imagine myself as a vessel. Vessels are a container that is either empty, filling up, or pouring out. It makes sense to me to spend time filling that vessel with positive energy.
If my vessel is filled with grrrrrrr, then grrrrrrr is what I have to share with others.
Being in the stream of wellbeing frees me and everyone connected to me from the grrrrrrr.
To learn more about Sandra visit: sandradeeowens.com
