By Dom Cioffi
I was having a conversation with a coworker recently when she disclosed that she was in the process of getting a divorce. Knowing that she has two young children, I immediately acknowledged how sorry I was for situation. Surprisingly, she shook her head adamantly and said it was for the best.
Apparently, she and her husband had been drifting apart for years and with the pandemic lockdowns further exaggerating an already tenuous relationship, the couple decided to separate and divorce amicably.
I could tell that she was committed to the idea of her divorce, but I also sensed a deep regret, especially with the holidays right around the corner.
I’m confident few people enter a marriage with the idea that a divorce is on the horizon. We all want to believe that we’ve put enough time and effort into one of the most important decisions of our lives, but many don’t.
Once married and faced with the normal pitfalls of life, we either adapt and grow up or we put our head in the sand and hope for the best. Sometimes a head-in-the-sand approach can work (if you’re lucky), but many times it just begins a long process of disconnection.
I got to thinking about divorce after my conversation with my coworker, so I did a little research and discovered with some interesting facts.
First of all, every 42 seconds, there is a divorce in America. That equates to 86 divorces per hour, 2,046 divorces per day, 14,364 divorces per week, and 746,971 divorces per year.
Conversely, every 16 seconds, there is a marriage in the U.S. That equates to 230 marriages per hour, 38,762 marriages per week, and 2,015,603 per year. That means there are nearly three divorces in the time it takes a couple to recite their wedding vows (assuming that takes an average of 2 minutes).
Almost 50% of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation. Of those, it’s estimated that 41% of all first marriages end in divorce, 60% of second marriages end in divorce, and 73% of all third marriages end in divorce (apparently, marital bliss does not come with practice!).
Interestingly, the average age of a couple going through a first divorce is 30 years old.
The United States is the leader in many global categories, but we fall short of winning the “percentage of most divorces” contest. The U.S. currently ranks third just behind the Maldives and Belarus, with Cuba coming in fourth and Estonia coming in fifth.
Here’s another interesting stat: The three top occupations that end up in divorce are gaming managers (at places like casinos), bartenders, and flight attendants. And the three occupations that have the best chance at a happy marriage are actuaries, physical scientists, and the clergy.
That last stat made me chuckle because it reminded me of Ben Stiller’s character, Reuben Feffer (who was an actuary), in the shockingly underrated comedy, “Along Came Polly.” If you’re looking for a good rom-com for the holidays, definitely rent that one.
Interestingly, January is considered “divorce month,” with the second week of January traditionally being the busiest week for filings. Apparently, people start looking for information before the New Year starts, but, because of the holidays, they can’t do much until the lawyers are back in the office.
I’m guessing that means lots of people have been driven to the breaking point through the year, and the holiday season — with its inherent stressors — pushes people over the edge. (Word to the wise: Treat your spouse well over the holidays or you may get served an unwanted document).
Whatever the case, divorces are generally painful events that force everyone involved to grow up and face certain realities — whether they want to or not.
In this week’s feature, “Pinocchio,” the classic story of a wooden toy who also desperately wants to grow up to be a real boy, we get a poignant and creative reinterpretation by famed director Guillermo del Toro.
The stop-motion animation and cinematography in this film is absolutely mesmerizing. Del Toro’s maintains the original manuscripts darker elements to produce a wildly inventive look at one of literature’s most beloved stories.
Everyone knows the story of Pinocchio, but seeing it delivered in this format makes the process of watching much more fun.
A restorative “A-” for “Pinocchio,” now available for streaming on Netflix.
Got a question or comment for Dom? You can email him at moviediary@att.net.
