Survey says…

By Dom Cioffi

I received an email recently from a metropolitan arena where I’ve seen numerous concerts and sporting events through the years. At some point, they got ahold of my email address, likely for ticketing or venue info, and now they semi-frequently send me marketing materials to further entice me into returning.

However, this email was different. This correspondence asked me to take a survey on how I feel about the future of large-scale events where thousands of people would be congregating in the same space.

Part of my day job involves developing surveys and analyzing the data that results, so when I get asked to complete someone else’s survey, I generally take the time to do it, knowing how helpful they can be in determining how a business approaches future endeavors.

This survey was fairly extensive, with questions covering the   gamut of how a future arena experience might look and feel.

First of all, there were several questions asking what kind of spacial concerns I might have when attending large events: Would I be comfortable standing in lines; Would I comply with entry restrictions into merchandise areas; How many seats would I be comfortable with between my party and the party next to me?

After answering these questions (many of which I have never considered), I started to wonder how different the world was going to be post-Covid-19. However, my biggest question was, how expensive is it going to be to attend a future concert or sporting event when a third of the seats are empty due to social distancing concerns?

In my mind, this seems untenable.

Of course, the other side of me revels in these ideas. For years I’ve complained that I can’t stand how tight the seats are in most arenas. I don’t mind sitting on top of my wife or son, but I am wildly uncomfortable sitting next to a complete stranger and having to rub shoulders with them for two hours.

Nothing makes me happier than to have an empty seat next to me when attending an event or flying on a plane. I’m immediately more at ease, with the added bonus that I can actually cross my legs with comfort.

Other questions from the survey revolved around how I felt about food preparation and distribution.

I’m admittedly germophobic when it comes to people touching my food. For instance, I’ve never been a big fan of shared condiment dispensers like those giant mustard machines. The idea that the guy in front of me just left the bathroom and now has his paws all over the communal mustard pump has never sat well with me.

Needless to say, I was all for the new restrictions being considered in this category.

Other questions asked if I would feel more comfortable if every employee in the arena had gloves and a mask on. This is a tough one. While I can appreciate that this approach may cut back on pathogen transfer, I find that masks have the tendency to cut down on the transfer of human emotion during conversations. And for someone who has aging ears, they also make it harder to hear well.

By the time I was done the survey, I was confident that when the arenas reopen, they are going to be radically changed places.

I don’t know how professional sports franchises and touring bands will combat the extra costs associated with these changes, but I’m confident it will result in higher ticket prices. And if you’ve been to an event recently, you know ticket prices are already through the roof.

Whatever the case, we’re officially heading into a strange new world (not that it hasn’t already qualified as strange). Time will tell if these innovative approaches are sustainable and/or lasting. But like the post-9/11 world, eventually it will become the new normal.

This week’s feature, “Bernie,” starring Jack Black and Matthew McConaughey, is the story of a middle-aged man who enters a strange new world when he befriends an elderly heiress.

Set in a sleepy southern town, this film’s main ingredient is the bevy of local “characters” who give consistent opinions about the unorthodox relationship that is highlighted in the movie. It’s like an added spice that gives the film a unique viewing quality.

This was one of those films that I’ve considered time and time again, but never got around to watch. During quarantine, I’ve made it a point to revisit several of the films on my “recommended” list, and this was one of them.

Check this film out if you’re in the mood for a different kind of murder story. And be prepared for an absolutely stellar performance from Jack Black.

An unconventional “B+” for “Bernie.”

Got a question or comment for Dom? You can email him at moviediary@att.net.