On February 14, 2019

What a drag it is getting old

By Dom Cioffi

My son’s basketball season officially ended this past Friday night with a loss in the semi-finals. It took no more than 15 minutes from the end of his game before he started pestering me for a sleepover.

I have a rule during any sports season that there will be no sleepovers on weekends with a game. I learned many years ago that this is a recipe for disaster.

I only had to experience the sleepy, irritable, unmotivated behavior on a few occasions before I pulled the plug on that activity. I remember one Little League game where he actually sat down and cried prior to the start of the first inning because he was so tired after spending the night at a friend’s house.

After I made the rule, he occasionally tried to sneak one in, but I’ve never budged. Eventually he came to understand that it was never going to happen. But he does know that there are several weekends in between seasons where it shouldn’t be an issue, so he relies heavily on those times to fill up his sleepover quota.

So, once the game ended last Friday, he hit me up. I wasn’t surprised that he asked, but I was surprised at who he invited. Instead of one friend, he wanted three, and he had a good argument why it had to be that number.

My son has acquired a great group of buddies, all of whom play basketball on the school team. The three kids he wanted to spend the night (along with my son) make up the core of his team. His argument was that they wanted to play two-on-two basketball all day and then hang out that night. I’m a sucker for any event that involves my son and lots of physical activity, so I agreed.

At noon the next day, his three friends showed up and sure enough, they played non-stop basketball for hours. They then walked up to the local sub shop for a grinder before topping things off with a Dunkin’ Donuts run. And when they came back, they played more basketball.

Finally, they piled into the house at dusk and proceeded to head into our playroom where they planned to watch ESPN and stare at their phones. I happily promised them pizza, soda, and ice cream sundaes in return for their long day of athletics. I like spoiling my son and his friends when they visit, especially when they act like boys and not degenerate zombies who only focus on video games.

I ordered the pizzas and stopped by the store for supplies, before heading back with enough food to serve a small army. I then prepared everything and walked into the room, arms full of food.

That’s when it first hit me; an odor so pungent that it could only come from a roomful of sweaty teenage boys. I ignored it at first, thinking it might just be the Fritos. But on a return trip, I was thoroughly bowled over. These boys smelled…BAD.

My son has just recently reached the point where he showers regularly and wears deodorant. I can’t speak for the other boys, but it sure seemed like their personal hygiene self-awareness was lacking.

I finally couldn’t take it any longer and called them out. “I’m not sure who it is,” I exclaimed with a disturbed smile on my face. “But one of you stinks!”

They all laughed, thinking it was funny, and pointed to one of the boys, all quite assured that he was the culprit. Surprisingly, he fessed up and admitted to a horrible foot odor problem before proceeding to lift up his foot toward me as if I was interested in confirming his claim.

I immediately retreated to my son’s bathroom to dig out the foot odor spray I purchased several months ago. I then returned to the room and heavily sprayed all of their feet.

While any adult would have been mortified by this experience, the boys thought it was great fun and were barely fazed by the social implications, thoroughly proving they were still kids at heart.

I’m sure teens in the early 1900’s had the same issues, but their lives were not nearly as easy. And when WWI broke out, they were called upon to do things that teens today only experience behind the safety of a joystick.

In this week’s film, “They Shall Not Grow Old,” director Peter Jackson unveils a painstaking project in which he and a team of digital restoration artists took weathered war footage from this period and modernized it in such a way that it brought uncanny life to the people and scenes.

This is an amazing film not only for the restored images and first person narration, but also for the unique story that is told. Check this one out if you have any interest in the first World War. The film you watch will give you an entirely new perspective.

A vivid “B+” for “They Shall Not Grow Old.”

Got a question or comment for Dom? You can email him at [email protected].

Do you want to submit feedback to the editor?

Send Us An Email!

Related Posts

Pies, parades, and porch chats

July 2, 2025
“America is a tune. It must be sung together.”—Gerald Stanley lee The month of July is the height of summer, bringing a spirit of celebration to all of us. Our town of Killington may be small, but we know how to celebrate the 4th of July. We start early with the annual book sale at…

Inventing a better ski day: the innovations that drew crowds to Killington

July 2, 2025
By Karen D. Lorentz Editors’ Note: This is part of a series on the factors that enabled Killington to become the Beast of the East. Quotations are from author interviews in the 1980s for the book Killington, A Story of Mountains and Men. “We’ve got a million dollars that says you’ll learn to ski at…

‘Almost Heaven’

July 2, 2025
The stage was simple, designed to resemble a wooden board that resembled the siding of any barn, anywhere across America. It could have been the barn behind my house, or the one that my cousins have down in Georgia. It could have been a barn in Colorado or even West Virginia.  Nothing remarkable at all,…

Getting away from it all

July 2, 2025
My family and I went to the beach this past week. The temperatures were hot, and the weather was sunny, making for a classic seaside vacation. The house we rented was in the harbor of the town where we were visiting, so while we didn’t stare out at the ocean, we were able to sit…