The older I get, the more solitary my life becomes. This isn’t a sad or deliberate thing but rather an unconscious choice to lean into more peaceful, less dramatic activities.
I’ve always loved team sports, parties, holidays, concerts, sporting events, etc. – undertakings that involve large groups of people. I thrived off these activities throughout my life, but over the last decade, I now engage in them on a less consistent basis.
Where I used to view alone time as painful or uninviting, I now look at it as preferable. I’ve found that I have a certain amount of energy I can expend with other people, and when that’s depleted, I withdraw back into myself, my wife, and my son.
The majority of my socialization is at work, and if you were to ask my coworkers, they would likely describe me as outgoing and sociable. Since I’m involved in communications, quite often I present in front of groups of people. So, it’s not surprising that with that much “face” time, I would look to be less sociable outside of the office.
So, after I leave work and head home, the “me” time begins. For instance, I love to run, which is a solitary activity for me. I was once asked to join a running club but flatly declined. I look at running as a chance to lose myself in my head or to work out problems that require immense focus. I don’t see it as a way to connect with others.
I also love to play guitar, and while I wouldn’t mind playing with other people (and have often pined for it), I’m perfectly happy strumming away in my little studio, playing and singing songs that make me happy.
Not surprisingly, I also frequent the movie theater alone on most occasions. Over the years, I’ve had people tell me that they find this odd or unnerving, like they could never imagine walking into a theater solo. I’m perfectly comfortable sitting alone while surrounded by couples, families, or friend groups. It doesn’t faze me in the slightest.
But golf is the one thing I do alone that most people find unusual. I love to golf, and while I don’t mind playing with other people, I much prefer, for several reasons, to play alone.
First of all, I play better golf when I’m by myself. It’s easier for me to get into and stay in “the zone” when I’m not distracted by someone else’s conversation or game. Like most hackers, I struggle to shoot good scores, so in the event that I happen to get something going, I definitely want all my attention directed on my round.
Secondly, there’s something very meditative about wandering the course alone. I tend to play in the late afternoon and early evening when the crowds have dispersed. During these times, with the sun setting and the birds chirping, a long walk through the fairways of my country club can make all the ills of the world fade away.
This past Sunday, when the rest of the world was sitting at home watching the final round of the 2025 Masters tournament, I decided to go golfing. I did this not because I had little interest in the broadcast (I actually consider it one of my favorite television viewing events of the year), but rather, I knew the course would be empty and my love of wandering the fairways alone would be especially heightened on this day.
I got to the course around 4 p.m. As expected, the parking lot was nearly empty. I jumped onto the first tee box, rifled a shot up the fairway, threw my bag over my shoulder, and wandered into the distance. I then spent the better part of the next three hours punching balls into the late afternoon sky, undeterred by other golfers.
When I was finished, I headed home and fired up my recording of the Masters broadcast. And since I had a self-imposed media, text, and phone blackout, I watched the spectacle unfold without any idea of the dramatic ending. Talk about having your cake and eating it, too!
This week’s feature, “The Ballad of Wallis Island,” features another man who fancies being alone, except in his case, he’s purchased his own private island with unexpected lottery winnings to assure he has his space.
Carey Mulligan and Tom Basden star as former bandmates and lovers brought together after the eccentric millionaire jets them to his remote getaway for a private concert. A comedy of errors follows as the threesome looks to navigate the oddest of interactions.
This is one of those fun little films that catches you off guard. It’s heartwarming and unique, with three diverse characters that blend together beautifully. If you don’t catch it at the theater, definitely look for it online in the months to come.
A deserted “B+” for “The Ballad of Wallis Island,” now playing in theaters everywhere.
Got a question or comment for Dom? You can email him at [email protected].
