With the holiday season upon us and many of us traveling to visit family, we must take time to consider gratitude. Where does it come from? How is it sustained? How do you show it when you are feeling it? What can you do to find more gratitude? How does it affect us and others in our lives?
Gratitude is a gift
All of the riches in the world could never replace the feeling of goodwill shared when treating someone with kindness. Understanding that behind what we see in a person, there is still that inner voice inside of them: The one that gets them up in the morning to make coffee and start their day, the one that sees the world from a truly unique and individual perspective based on what’s happening to them, and the one that decides how they view and treat themselves and others. That inner voice in all of us that can build or destroy, grow or remain stuck, smile or frown, embrace or refuse, act or stand still, love or be apathetic. Understanding that the inner voice in all of us deserves a little kindness from time to time. I do this by taking time to fully reflect on the kindness and fortune I’ve experienced and allowing a moment to receive the gift.
I’ve found that gratitude does require acceptance. It requires meeting yourself and recognizing that something is making a positive impact on your life. It requires emotional availability and awareness to dig deep within oneself and take stock of the things contributing positively to your life.
Knowing what has been done
Sometimes, when I am caught up in a moment of stress or dissatisfaction, I recognize that I’m not feeling much gratitude. Knowing how quickly negative feelings can grow, I try to uncover some things to be grateful for and see if I can find stability again.
Gratitude is an emotion, so I take a moment and recognize what has been done for me that makes me feel. I think about the emotional impact of something being done for me: how it delights me, how it opens my heart, how it makes me feel more light and free. I take a moment to recognize that something intentional or unintentional is benefiting me.
A simple, peaceful walk can help me take a moment to slow down and draw my focus inward, allowing feelings of gratitude to reverberate through me.
Maybe I notice the way the sun peaks through the trees near my home, the way the cool mountain air stings my lungs with crisp, clean cold, or simply the fact that I am able to breathe.
Maybe you’d find gratitude in having a dog to walk in the morning, a job to go to that helps our community, or a vehicle warming up for us while we clear it from snow and ice.
Whatever it is that allows us a moment, it is a perfect opportunity to recognize that something is undoubtedly benefiting us right now.
Impact of gratitude
Another component of gratitude is recognizing how this beneficial thing has made us feel and acting on it. Taking a moment to find appreciation and thankfulness for this thing and how it brings us joy, how it grows our light, how it contributes positively to our lives, and how it makes us feel to know that this thing is present for us.
Once we have recognized this benefit, we take a moment to really honor it. If we are grateful for a beautiful day, maybe we take a moment to close our eyes and smile at the gorgeous environment that we find ourselves in. If it is a person, perhaps we take time to reach out and thank them for what they have contributed positively to our lives. If it is a wealth of experiences shared, let’s take time to reflect on them with joy and share that reflection with those involved.
While gratitude may not be required in personal relationships, its presence or absence does have a lasting impact. Someone who struggles with expressing their own emotions in a healthy way may find difficulty feeling gratitude. From personal experience, this could cause the people in our lives who are pouring their positive energy into us to not feel valued, accepted, or appreciated by us. As such, the presence of gratitude in a relationship is a good indicator of whether it can be seen as fulfilling or long-term.
On a personal level, the absence of gratitude for one’s situation and environment can cause depression, insecurity, and a host of other issues that can build a tangled web of discontent. I find it best to start with the basics, and I quickly discover that things aren’t as bad as they seem at that moment. Things as simple as living, being warm, working, having food, having dreams, having goals, and having the ability to positively impact the world today – have all made a big difference for me. Certainly, gratitude doesn’t take a problem away, but it positively helps put it into perspective, which can help us solve it or respond to it more effectively and less reactively.
The acknowledgment and positive feedback from expressing gratitude toward a person is one of the most healing joys we can offer someone. It is a truly selfless gift that can be life-changing for the recipient. Showing that appreciation toward someone for positively impacting our lives promotes growth in both individuals. As we work to live a life of kindness toward ourselves and others, let’s take a moment this holiday season to come up with each and everything we are grateful for and try to find a way to show it. You never know how that domino effect of kindness could cascade and shape our world into a more loving place.
