I have a friend who lives just outside of a major city in the South. He’s done well for himself; he drives a nice car, has a lovely wife and kids, has carved out a successful career in the insurance world, and lives in a beautiful home.
Recently, we had a conversation about getting older and sustaining injuries. I brought up my snowboarding shoulder predicament from last spring (which still haunts me today) while he discussed a knee issue resulting from a nasty fall on the tennis court.
During the conversation, I mentioned that it was time to decorate my home for the holidays and how, as I grow older, I like climbing ladders less and less, especially with a bum shoulder. He concurred but admitted that his ladder-climbing days were officially over. He explained that if he couldn’t get one of his sons to do it, he’d hire it out.
I’m not there yet.
Maybe I’m too cheap, or maybe it’s my Vermont blood, but if there’s even a slight chance I can pull off an activity around the house on my own, I’m going to do it.
A few days after we talked, I got an email from my friend with a .pdf attachment labeled “Holiday Estimate.” He told me to review the file for “a good laugh.” He had a holiday decorating company come to his home to make suggestions on exterior decorating ideas and provide a cost estimate for installation. The following are quotes for the various decorations the rep suggested.
To cover one roof line with white lights was over $800. To hang lighted balls from a single tree in his front yard was just shy of $1,000. To wrap the trunk of the same tree with lights was nearly $500. To cover the seven large hedges that encircle his house would cost a whopping $6,000. And finally, to have a fully decorated Christmas tree brought into his home, set up, and removed after the holidays would be an astonishing $7,000.
I was dumbfounded. I decorate my house every year, and it’s a lot of work, but it’s not $15,000 worth of work. I’m not even sure it’s $1,000 worth of work. And yet, people apparently pay these sums.
I’m not saying I love the decorating process. It’s a whole day of physical work, but I try to make the best of it. I put on Christmas songs and do my best to envelop the spirit of the season. Inevitably, what starts out as a begrudging task eventually turns into a prideful experience. Knowing that my family appreciates it makes it worth every second.
For many years, I tried to outdo myself from the previous Christmas. I’ve stopped that simply because I was running out of storage space in my attic for all the decorations. I also try to keep my decorating at a classy level. I only use white lights on draped fluffy garlands on the exterior windows, highlighted with large red bows. It’s subtle, refined, and looks particularly good against the white brick façade. I also hang five lighted balls from the one large tree in my front yard.
It’s not overwhelming or gaudy but reflects a sense of holiday sophistication.
When I’m out on my runs, I tend to assess the decorating prowess of the homes I pass. I believe that most people put little thought or effort into the process. It seems that it’s common practice to throw out any number of lighted holiday widgets into your yard with little thought or concern for structure or theme.
And then you have the homes with an almost poetic style. The decorations are graceful and refined, suggesting that the person who set them up cared a great deal about the projection of their home.
Or, as previously mentioned, they have a lot of money.
This week’s feature, “Red One,” starring Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans, made a lot of money during its opening weekend, but that doesn’t mean it’s a film worth attending. In fact, it might be worth avoiding if you’re looking for a fun and lighthearted holiday film.
“Commercial” and “formulaic” are two words that come to mind when watching this movie. Sure, it has the big-name stars and the fancy digital effects, but underneath is where the story lies, and if the story isn’t valid, no amount of glitz and glam can salvage a lackluster production.
That said, many people are finding this film enjoyable, mostly because of the eye candy and over-the-top production. Personally, I can’t recommend this movie, but plenty of viewers do.
Check this one out if you’re willing to take the risk. Just remember that I told you so.
A puckish “D” for “Red One,” now playing in theaters everywhere.
Do you have a question or comment for Dom? You can email him at [email protected].
