I’ve been checking in with myself on a concept I like to call The Gray. I am focusing on the gray as a way to meet situations I encounter in an open, honest and wholesome way. Paired with extreme ownership and radical acceptance, I am feeling more in control over things I previously felt discouraged by and disconnected from. Long gone are the days being and entertaining excuse makers.
But what is the gray? I included my insight on it below.
The gray is the in-between: good and evil. Positive and negative. Right and wrong. Compatible or incompatible. Fun or boring. Sweet or salty. Safe or unsafe. Healthy or unhealthy.
Neither good nor bad. The middle. Neutral. The acceptance of simply what is. Maybe not ideal with fireworks and a parade, but acceptable. The understanding that even though I am not perfect and a given situation may be difficult, I decide what happens next for me.
The fortune of not knowing. The unknown. The time to consider. Opportunity to approach without preconceived opinions. Knowing that you do not know and using a discovery process toward finally knowing. Unassuming. Allowing yourself to meet a situation for the first time and reconnect with it, even if it is familiar.
Connect with genuine interest and curiosity. Engage with a fresh perspective and a clean slate. Be open. Be vulnerable. Be yourself, the kind of person that you really are now. Allow the situation the be what it is without tying uninformed conclusions to it.
If the situation is familiar, remember your roots. Respect it as you would if you were just meeting it.
Check in: are you bringing effort? Are you bringing expectations? Can you meet this situation the way it deserves to be met and without prejudgment? Are you taking ownership of your portion of the situation? Are you welcoming feedback and comments from the situation and respecting them identical to your own feelings? Are you respecting yourself and your boundaries in this situation?
In the modern dating world so many people tend to the extremes. Waiting for the perfect message to respond, the perfect first date, the perfect partner, something that requires zero effort and is unequivocally positive. But that isn’t reality. Every silver lining has a touch of gray. With anything good, there is also bad and there is also gray.
Waiting for the perfect opportunity, or remaining indecisive, could cause regret and missing a life changing opportunity. Instead, now I embrace the situation as it is and allow it to breathe as itself before drawing conclusions. Allowing myself to approach new, challenging things with an open mind and vulnerability. Allowing myself full freedom, by giving full freedom to the situation to be whatever it is.
As I study this concept, I look forward to rediscovering things I previously could only see as black and white, good or bad, and now seeing them as an opportunity at genuine acceptance of a complex situation that I do not understand. Embracing the gift of not knowing.
This holiday, let’s all try to meet these situations in the gray and with acceptance, so we can see them almost for the first time and with a fresh and open perspective.
