Which dating pools are you swimming in?

As you get older, the dating pool gets smaller and smaller. A great way to a least identify single eligible bachelors is attending a bachelor auction, such as the recent one held at the The Foundry. It not only raises awareness and money for Vermont Adaptive but it also turned out to be a haven for single women, who dressed to impress: fancy dresses, high heels and lots of champagne. Not to mention, all the bachelors look handsome in tuxedos. Betting on a bachelor equals an automatic date as well as great packages and offers that come with winning one.

Wearing heels in Killington in March meant that everyone had to negotiate a combination of mud and ice just to get in the door. However, I felt that my heels were acting a bit like snowshoes, picking through the ice so I wouldn’t slip.

In addition to the typically young men who are single, there is also new pool of men cropping up: those who are divorced. Many of my parents’ generation have been married for over 40 years. I think my generation give up easier. We don’t put up with much anymore, and people are seem to be numb to the word “divorce” — it’s not taboo anymore. But I am sad sometimes to see friends or acquaintances I know seem so happy on Facebook, then hear their marriage is ending. Recently I ran into an old friend when I returned home for the holidays. I noticed he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring, come to find out later he was getting a divorce. I told him he seemed so happy on Facebook with all the pictures he posted. He explained it as “Fakebook.”

As the saying goes, “One person’s trash is another one’s treasure.” I know plenty of people that found their first marriage wasn’t right, but the partner they met and married afterwards turned out to be the golden ticket. A recent study conducted by the marriage foundation, proves this to be true. It revealed a surprising statistic: although 45-50 percent of marriages end in divorce, only 31 percent of second marriages fail.

This got me thinking. As a young-something single gal looking to settle down, perhaps I have been searching down the wrong path? Maybe the assumption that divorce equals baggage is contradictory to the actual truth that matters. Perhaps divorced men do in fact make better boyfriends or husbands. Men don’t want to fail again. Perhaps they are more motivated to get it right the second time around? Having already been married, men might be more willing to do the work and keep their relationship strong, everlasting and fulfilling. People learn from their mistakes. Perhaps the divorcee will be ready when he meets the next woman. Lastly, he is at least open to commitment, having already been there before, which is vital for a healthy and happy relationship.

I have dated my fair share of eligible bachelors over the last year who ran at the teensiest sign of commitment. They got antsy committing to a Saturday night, so I venture to guess settling down for the rest of their life is simply out of the question.

Love is not any easy thing. That’s why they call crushes, crushes, I guess. In any relationship there are ups and downs and it can be hard to tell when it is worth the fight to keep your relationship alive and when it is not. As Cher once said, “Do you believe in life after love?” I know I do. When you finally meet the one you love it’s worth fighting for, over and over, I think. Truly love doesn’t die that easily.

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