Getting old kinda stinks. Our bodies revolt against us by
sagging, smarting and requesting replacement parts. Our hair loses
its luster as well as its pigment. Our skin gets dry and our toe
nails become hard as diamonds. Our brain starts skipping beats and
our memory takes numerous vacations - typically when we need it
But getting old also has it benefits. We can choose not to give
a damn, we can tell people to go fly a kite and we have wisdom
beyond compare. We have experience - and that is something younger
folks cannot buy, beg, borrow or steal. We have the upper hand in
that category. Some of us choose to keep what we have learned a
secret believing that everyone should have to learn the ropes on
their own. I, on the other hand, believe it is kinder to share this
knowledge with the less fortunate - my term of affection for
So get out your pencils and pads, you are going to want to take
notes and take heed. The things I have learned as a Boomer are as
You can tell people until you are blue in the face that you will
never become like your parents or say things your parents said -
news flash - you sure as heck will. You will find yourself starting
sentences with catch phrases such as "these kids today," "when I
was your age" and "back in my day."
Wearing high heels in your 20's, 30's, and 40's will cause you
problems in your 50's, 60's and 70's. Bunions, hammer toes and
plantar fasciitis are real. Those seven-inch stilettos may look
sexy today, but you will end up in Hush Puppies, Life Strides and
The time will come when your arms are not long enough to hold
the menu far away enough to read it. Start collecting those maggies
now in every color and shape. You need a cache of them because you
will lose them on a daily basis without any hope of remembering
where you had them last. The upside is that while you are
searching, you often come across a pair you lost six months
Replacing the newspaper with a Kindle for bathroom reading is
not a good idea if you are clumsy. Attempting to rectify the
situation with a hair dryer does not work.
Men and women really are from Mars and Venus. Do not attempt to
change a member of the opposite sex. It never ends happily ever
Start your retirement fund as early in life as possible. Like
find a good broker when you are about 4-years-old.
You are what you eat, so eat healthy. You are not what you
Don't take up the habit of smoking. Eventually the only place
where you will still be allowed to smoke is a one-acre plot in
If you haven't ridden a bicycle in years, don't just jump on one
and take off. It is not like riding a bicycle.
Grandkids are awesome. You can spoil them rotten, feed them
sweets late at night and return them home when either you or they
need a nap.
Your children will grow up to be your best friends and your
heroes, but they will always be your children. They will also
always find a way to move back home and will never, ever refuse an
offer of money.
The music of your teens and twenties will remain the best and
most incredible music of your entire life. Any music produced after
that time period will suck and not be considered real music.
The Beatles. 'Nuff said.
Material things are not all they are cracked up to be. You can't
take them with you, so accumulating house loads of them is
seriously a waste of time and money. On the other hand, good
health, loyal friends and a close-knit family are priceless. Put
your time and energy into finding and keeping those.
Choose the job you will love, not the one that pays the most
Stop and smell the roses, except if you are allergic to
Learn to live within your means, and then learn to live with
just a little less.
Love with reckless abandon and never have regrets.
Know when it is time to give up.
Never give up if your heart tells you to keep going for it.
Smiling is contagious and can never be overrated.
Cindy Phillips is a columnist for The
Mountain Times. She can be reached directly at